Grammar Nazi: An Endangered Species?

                  The  phone flickered to life as it showed four Whatsapp notifications and Juliet rushed to grab it.

               "Haiii Romeo! Yo bae! Waddup? <3 Wr wre u mah nigga'!?" typed Juliet furiously into her WhatsApp jumping with glee, as she saw his last seen at change to Online instantly. 

Almost immediately - Blue double tick marks.  Received and read. No reply.

Alas! Romeo was gone in no time. 

And yes, he was a Grammar Nazi. 

               For those of you who don't know, a Grammar Nazi is a person who has a love for the language and habitually corrects grammatical errors and spelling mistakes made by others, during a conversation. They do this both in real life as well as online. In this world of virtual chaos and contorted perceptions of what is linguistically right or wrong, and new word inventions by the hour, a Grammar Nazi is a slow dying breed of people who still believe in the beauty and practical charm of speaking, writing and chatting in good, grammatically correct, Spell checked and properly punctuated English. Is that too much to ask for? 

               A few of you may argue about how annoying it could be while talking to a Grammar Nazi. With constant obsession for immaculate English, we could literally be conversation killers. Yes, I say we, because I am one myself. In my defense, I'd say well spoken, typed and written English is a major turn-on (at least for us), and good grammar goes a long way in ensuring that people do take you seriously. 

              I find it amusing how many people skip the apostrophe completely while texting someone. I mean, how could you disown the big daddy of grammar. He's the one who makes you see sense between knowing y-o-u-r shit and knowing y-o-u-'-r-e shit. Unless you want to insinuate that by using the former phrase, you're actually turning out to be the latter one. 

             Grammar Nazis' might overlook certain eccentricities that this new-age English speakers might indulge in, but it is absolutely unforgivable when people type in the shortest possible abbreviations for the sake of brevity. How in the world am I supposed to really understand something that goes like, "Hi, hru. M g8. F9. ill txt ya sn. lysm bae. ttyl. gn." It's as if you're trying to earn a million for each little vowel that you're saving up. We bet even your phone's Auto-correct has given up on your education. 

               Another malady that ails these people while chatting is the 'K Syndrome'. Yes, the usage of K is alarmingly and pathetically the most laziest stuff you can type while texting. It extremely annoys us, that while we painstakingly type out a nice, paragraph-long message with double Spell-check for errors, all you can give is a K? How difficult is it to type 'Okay' or even even simply, an ok would suffice. 'K' isn't even a real word. The last we knew, "I" & "GO" were the shortest known words in the English language. 

        As for the newly invented words coming up from seemingly inconsiderate Grammar-deprived mortals, we do take it in our stride. Some of them can be really cool. But could someone please explain me why and who invented an absolutely ridiculous word like "BAE" It sounds completely dumb. If you were to use Bae in common lingo in India, you'd earn quite a few amusing looks. 'Kya bey, Bol bey, and chal bey!' more commonly used as a term of endearment between two really close buddies, rather than an over-glamorized mushy sentiment that means - Before Anyone Else. 

              

      Closer home, English language has been embraced by fellow Indians, but with a few of our own Indian touches. Some people do not really understand the need to speak in present tense, and every sentence of theirs has to have 'had' in it, before the verb. Adverbs like literally, surely, compulsorily, definitely, actually are used, I must say, quite liberally by Indians. And that is exactly where they aren't needed. Using them without thought, only asserts how flawed your sense of English is. 

                  

                   Moreover, there is no such thing in English as good name. Nor does the word prepone exist. In proper English, there are no phrases like 'why because', 'like that only' 'passing out of college' and 'switch offing'. These are just a figment of your imagination. Also, please do understand that homophones like there and their, heal and heel, looser and loser etc sound the same, but actually mean different things. It would really be a mighty relief if people stop mixing up the two word "Angel" and "angle" while writing. The two words are worlds apart in terms of spelling, meaning and phonetics. 

                       

                    All said and done, Grammar Nazis can certainly be annoying and not make lots of friends. We do have our fair share of nasty experiences with people, what with our extreme obsession for the language. Grammar Nazis win most arguments by correcting other people's grammar. Agreed, we are difficult people to have a conversation with. But, constantly correcting people does not mean we ridicule them or put them down in any way. This might make us look like snobs, English being a touchy subject. All we really wish is that people respect the language and show some consideration for the practicality of grammar and punctuation. Oh and yeah, we do use words like 'selfie' and 'epic' in our vocabulary, which only adds to the fact that we are a progressive breed and always open to suggestions. 

Till then, k thanx bye. ;)