From Facebook to Facepalm phenomenons

                 When Mark Zuckerberg started thefacebook.com way back in 2004 to help Harvard alumni reconnect with each other, little did he know that he would start a social media revolution that would transform the way people perceive each other online. 10 years later, as Facebook now celebrates its 10th birthday, having a Facebook account now seems equivalent to having your own personal identity online. A staggering 1.2 billion users, Facebook is now huge enough to be a country. From being a simple online media platform that helped Harvard students poke around classmates and like each other's picture, the website is now a thriving platform with groups, events, fan clubs and much more customized networking.
             
                  Perhaps they're right when they say, "Throw a stone, and it is sure to hit a Facebook user."  We all might be veteran users of Facebook, but there are certainly some others out there who always seem to be at the receiving end because of their naivety. Here is a list of all those Facebook phenomenons that have irritated us, and entertained us and even haunted us in their own wicked funny ways. Oh yes! and we've learnt from our mistakes  too.

1. Game requests!

We all know that game requests in any form are so freaking irritating. While people say Candy crush requests are the worst, there are those game requests that could literally test your patience and leave no doubt about the level of joblessness people are upto. Like No! I don't want to know who is my secret crush, who is stalking me, or what kind of crazy I am or any random shit. Mentally, I have already murdered you a dozen times. 

2. Works at . . .

A few minutes of silence for the people who have works at - 'Student' on their profile. 

                            

And a few hours of silence for those girls who have works at -'I dOn't Wrk coz aM a pRiNcEsS' 

3. Pesky relatives

Lets face this. We all have, at some point or other, dodged from those pesky desi aunts and uncles who send you a friend request in all good sense. Even more difficult was hiding your crazy posts and ultra retarded pictures with friends, until Zuckerberg finally came up with the custom settings option to hide stuff from family and others. He saved some reputations, didn't he?

4. Pokes and Friend requests

I seriously do not understand why would I be dumb enough to add or poke back random people on Facebook. Like having a few mutual friends or a common school/college gives you a license to add me? I wouldn't even give you a second glance if I walked past you in real life.

5. Stupid picture tags

You are there in the pic, I'm not. You're all alone or maybe with a friends or two. They why the hell do you have those three people and 89 others tagged in the pic? Sometimes, its just not you. It might be a pic of your fat ass cat, your last night's dinner or your new phone. Oh! And please don't get me started on your grainy selfies that come with captions like "Mah CoUraGe...Mah AtTituDE.." or some idiotic Urdu Shayeri. 

 6. English Zombies

Not to demean or insult you but Facebook addicts have seriously killed modern English language. You study in my college/school and I've no idea why "U ppl olwayze typ lyk dis". Even your well meaning comments and status updates that say 'osum mrng, chilling out wid mah frnds' etc etc. do not look amusing at all. Are you saving all those vowels for your wedding? 

P.S Yes I'm a grammar Nazi.

7. Incessant Stalking

Come on! Lets face it. You'e done it, I've done it. Everyone else I know has done it. We all have stalked someone's profile or the other in our entire Facebook tenure. How many times have we not stalked our classmates, crushes and even ended up scrolling through timelines of your friend's friend's cousin's friends. 

 

8. Hello-Hi-bye-bye comments

Look. Most of you really steal the thunder from a really nice picture or a status update with your lame conversations underneath them. For example, Mr.X updates a status about his first job or Miss Y is officially engaged and that is seriously not a great place to start a conversation with your mutual friends in the comments. There's a place called 'Chat box' or 'inbox' where you can relocate your "Hieee there, long time!" ,"omg so long! When will you be in town, lets meet." conversations. 

9. Like Hoarders

Yes, this breed is not extinct. These people can annoy the soul out of your body. To all those who are like-hungry on Facebook, you deserve a silent slow motion clap. From messaging people in chat to "Pls lyk my pic" and tagging 49 others in the same, these desperadoes are everywhere. Oh yes, there is another classier version of Facebook page promoters who will send you discreet invites to like their pages too. So here you go.

10. Outrageous dps

Ladies with all those made up dps, why does every pic of yours have to be an artwork of Pablo Picasso with your face as a canvas? With 190 likes on your face all caked in that makeup on Facebook, how are people supposed to recognize the real 'You' in real life if they happen to see you minus your war paint. 

And all those wannabe cool guys and girls who think pictures where you're wearing shades indoors, well. . . Keep posing. We can deal with you later.

11. Facebook addicts

The social 'keedas' as they call us. Yes, I belong to this category of Facebook addicts. In my defense, who else could come up with a blog like this? On the downside, however there is a limit to the amount of information you are supposed to share on a social media platform. Not everything and anything needs Everyone's attention on Facebook. But I totally get the itch to log in and brag. I mean it.

12. Never say goodbye

We totally get it if you want to quit this Facebook madness and delete or deactivate your profile. But is a social declaration of your intention necessary? "Bye guys, am deactivating my profile by the 20th of this month." 

And, there you still are! 6 months later you still haven't deactivated. They say there is a special place in hell reserved just for your kind. Adios.

Teacher's Day tribute

                           It might seems cynical of me if I said I hated school. Neither would I put up with any pretenses and say it was the best. The real test of your patience and faith truly comes much after school and looking at the uncertain road ahead, I would certainly say my friends and teachers from school were some redemption from that evil life. Being a teacher's pet came with the tag of being bullied by the popular back-benchers and being notoriously famous among friends earned you disapproving looks of teacher and the wrath of the principal.

                 Life is the biggest teacher and we all admit to having learnt more from life and personal experiences than from sitting in a classroom. The perception of discipline and sanity just can't be instilled in today's generation through simple classroom lectures and rebukes. There are way more experienced teachers and mentors right outside the horizon of a classroom. My mother is another lady who never fails to teach me something really valuable each day. It might not necessarily be an ideology she intentionally advocates or teaches, sometimes her subtle references and anecdotes mean a whole lot of new things to me. Every day as I watch my mom get ready for her day at school, and yet never falter in her upbringing of us, it amazes me that this woman possesses the ability to inspire a hundred more kids and am not the only one. To be loved and respected for what your practice and lovingly teach is reward enough for being a teacher.

                     I had a handful of really fantastic teachers at school who gave me the wings to dare and fly and yet stay humble and grounded. My friends are perhaps the most underrated tutors who have inexplicably succeeded in making me realize that happiness finds its way to you in the most unlikely manner. They give me the strength to dream bigger and totally hold my back when I am down. A few other colleagues and mentors have always been my well-wishers when I needed to grow as an individual.
             
                   And to all those detractors who thought I can't do anything, lots of gratitude to you all. You've always been the reason I'm a go-getter, coz you taught me never to quit. A million thank yous to all the teachers life has gifted me, and sometimes thrown at me too. I've learnt a lot from each of you. And yes, I'm from those category of students who made fun of those very teachers initially and have begun to love them all the more as I grew older.

                      

                           We all are born students and yet there's something to learn from every other person. So Happy teacher's day to the teacher in each of us .Love and respect to all those who teach. 

Click me. Maybe!

                Once upon a time there lived state of mind called "Imagination". Today we all live under the façade of a reality called "Photography". The new age social media like Instagram, Flickr and Pinterest have largely empowered the likes of everyone who clicks pictures. We've already made these people the butt of the DSLR jokes, when in stark reality we all are turning into one of them. And these realists look like this.  .

                                               

Oh there! I've now clicked you reading my blog as well. Say thanks to the technology that has brought in a camera in every pocket (read smartphones) and for the more inquisitive and eager, there is the regular range of SLRs and DSLRs. Eat, shop, laugh, cry, travel, marry, etc everything has to be suffixed with the usual- Pose, Click, Share and Upload for everyone to stare. :) As simple as that. 

They say, "A picture is worth a thousand words." My elders beg to differ. I've heard amazing stories and anecdotes from my grandparents and believe me, Nothing! Absolutely nothing beats the experience of watching, and cherishing memories that can be retold vividly as a story and passed on. Its a different joy. 

    

 I was once out for an errand and had left my phone at home. On my return, it was nearly dawn and the Sun was setting in the horizon under the lovely shades of crimson and vermilion mixed with a hazy blue. I fished around for my camera, only to find that I'd left it back. The inability to capture that moment left me with a tinge of frustration and restlessness. But then again, I thought not every moment could be captured for life. I accepted that wisely and I stood there savouring the moment of solitude until the last shade of orange had set. It was unexplainable.  I know one day I will look back at that simple moment, relate it to many people and not have a single picture to show how it felt to stand there. I agree photographs are keepsakes and you needn't delve deeper into your memories to look back or revel on a particular moment. But try as you might, you can fill better gaps with your imagination. 

    

 And yes, I have tried very very unsuccessfully to click a decent picture of the Moon. Failed miserably.

Maybe what my mother says about this is true, "Not everything is meant to be clicked. Don't click. Just Stare." 

                In the meanwhile, while I stare and admire Click me! Maybe. :P ;)

The Great Examination Circus.

             Phew! I just braved through a fortnight of back to back exams and it took no rocket science to decipher the drama that unfolds during each exam. We all have our exam woes, lets confess. Be it the insomniac habits we follow, erratic schedules, huge huge portions that we never touched all year long, or to sum it all up . . . Exams are a pain the wrong place. -_-

Like for starters, we all burn the midnight oil. Don't we?

Except that it is more of Whatsapping, and Instgramming your study woes rather than actual concentrated study. 

And the morning of the exam. . . 

            

This is how we all wake up to the blaring alarms of exam. :P

But lets face it, if you ever had the insight and the time to observe the different characters that live within the examination hall, you would do quite well by delving deep into their thought processes and behaviours.

You'd never be short of amusing characters in the exam hall. Presenting to you . . .

1.The Human Encyclopaedia 

Chances of this person being a girl is more. These breed enter the hall with an air of insolence like an A-listed Hollywood star, for the sole saving grace that every back bencher are going to be at their mercy. The level of question paper difficulty  has no effect whatsoever on these people, because they write like a man possessed by Newton himself. 

And if the Nerd is a guy, chances are he would just smirk at you in vengeance for all the lame geek taunts you  pulled on him for studying hard throughout the year and for being a social recluse. This is how he will enter. .  . 

2.The All-rounder ass

These are worse than the Human encyclopaedias. These naturally gifted popular all-rounders who won't help you if they want. Not because they're too upright or anything, but simply for the thrill of having the last laugh. They pretend not knowing anything, but when in reality they're already scoring the highest on the test (Surprise surprise) in their minds. Ask them, "Which state has the highest child mortality rate?" and you'll get back this . . . 

3.The "Gandhigiri" people

Oh my goodness, don't let me get started on these people who are from the Gandhian era. SatyaMeva Jayate is their only favourite show. These people won't cheat to pass or allow anybody else to do the same. God bless these souls. They don't make people like 'em anymore. 

4.The Ogler

There are a few Oglers too. Without whom this list is pointless. These oglers need a chance to peek, ogle, stare and just have a deep long look into others papers. This behaviour demands a certain level of skill wherein you need to dodge the intrusive invigilators 

             The other skill being the ability to look into other students' answer sheets without looking retarded.

5.The Easy-going Jack

Most of us belong to this category of easy going Jacks and Jills who don't know a shit about what's supposed to be the question paper. Those 3 hours are nothing short of a sitcom what with the priceless expressions on each person's face. The reactions of other people are more amusing than the question paper itself. These Jacks be like. . .  

Meanwhile 

6.The Invigilator 

Give some thought to the poor invigilator who is standing his feet sore just for the sake of your exams. 3 hours of looking down on these kids . . . 

Or quieten the uproar thats taking place in the hall. . . 

Or at the best, play the worst spoilsport during the last 5 minutes of the exam . . .

    And yes, we do have our reactions after the exam. 

But don't let that fool you, its only a matter of hours before those sunken eyes turn into this. . . .

 And THAT my friends, sums up The Great Examination Circus.

The Quest for a Perfect Bond

 

   We all live with duality in our lives. One, the narcissist and the other is an eternal quest of perfecting the relationships we maintain. On one hand we are constantly improving on the personal front, and then the other hand, we're on the quest for bettering our bonds and relations. So, what is the perfect relationship? If you ask me, I'd tell you -"The ones everyone live with everyday." Kinda vague isn't it? Well, there's no perfect concept of a perfect relationship. The bond that we all share, whether it is with each other, our besties, parents, or siblings are the ones that are intricate and yet beautifully simple when you look at the larger picture.

                   You can't expect a straight path always, could you? There're always upsides and downsides to everything. Same goes for every little bond you share. I, for once had a love-hate relationship with my grandmother. That was when I had my grandfather. I'd always side with him and make my grandmother the antagonist. Now that I look back, I smile at everything that I felt for her. After my grandfather's death, I realised the need to connect with my grandma and love her all the more. <3 We now bond and hold out for each other so well, all the bitterness is forgotten. She feeds me till I gain some pounds and I compliment her each passing day. Little sweet gestures and shared anecdotes make up our days.

               Am sure, everyone goes through phases with every relationship. Whether its the rebellious parent-kid stage, the "sibling-rivalry-then-back-to-best-buddies" stage, the "just friends to best friends" phase or even the "Just engaged to the star crossed lovers stage", every relationship is a journey. Every journey is fun! 

        Likewise as they say, "Wine tastes better with age", the same goes for any relationship. Its just a matter of time before they come around. Sooner or later. . . 

  

The Bride

So majestically she sits there.
As silent as you dare.
Red henna adorns each palm.
And, she watches, poised and calm.

She's draped in red and gold.
Charming and beautifully bold.
Decked head to toe in jewellery.
She's ever father's glee.

She stands lovely and dazzling.
A true diva without hassling.
Every spectator's immense delight.
Lighting up this special night.

Today's her day for sure.
Occasion for being coy and demure.
Her eye glistens back a tear,
her mind suppressing another fear.

Heart facing surge of emotions,
She fights all preconceived notions.
Her walk is slow and fragile,
Yet she wears a lovely, shy smile.

When she stands aside the GROOM,
their dream is in full bloom.
Groom's epitome of Dignified pride,
Shines the lovely INDIAN BRIDE

Monument

A look that could take your breath away, 

A look that could make your day.

 

The monument looms into view. 

Seen by many, understood by few.

The ethereal symbol of love, 

That monument blessed from above. 

The pillars weave their own magical tale,

A love story that shall never fail.

Etched in marble, stunningly proud,

Lie the two lovers in a marble shroud.

Stands regally white in all its splendour,

Built with all the passion and ardour. 

Each white marble, . . .

That which tells a story,

Makes up the stunning TAJ MAHAL in all its glory!

The Prisoner

If you want to see the world,

go meet a girl.

Strong and pure, 

Like a hidden pearl. 

She always belongs to someone.

Playing roles more than one. 

A mother, wife, sister or child.

Now, a relentless victim

of intentions gone evil and wild.

Every night she lies awake,

Wondering how much more could she take.

Silently she bears and endures

praying for a final cure.

Hiding deep within her eyes.

Wicked truths and beautiful lies.

She wants no revenge for every tear.

Instead, looking there and here

for an end to her deep-rooted fear.

Maybe she could've ended it all.

And still be able to stand tall.

But enough's enough.

she has to now stay tough.

Within herself she wages battles and wars.

Can't you feel her pain and scars?

Listening to her silent cries,

why don't we realise?

Everyday she's born and again dies.

Why has innocence lost its age.

Why doesn't man control 

his madness and rage?

Please oh please!!

Set the prisoner free . . .

From her invisible cage.