Four of my Biggest Learnings from 2018

You know those memes "It's the end of 2018, and I'm still fat, ugly, broke and single AF". Well, we've all been there and done that. But, this year, I beg to differ. This was a great one, for the very fact that it made me a 'woke' millennial and a more self-aware person than the last few adulting years have ever done. 

If you care enough to know how, read on:

1. #MeToo movement created solidarity

 Although this has no personal connotation with me, I would be committing a grave sin if I didn't acknowledge the biggest revolution stirred up this year. Not only did it highlight the rampant sexism, sexual harassment, and gender inequality in every industry, but also emphasized how social media stars/influencers, actors, writers, directors, and other people in influential positions were often the predators and wrongdoers in an already sexist industry. 

The biggest backlash was perhaps borne by the entertainment industry as several women came out with their stories, making it clear to us that we have wittingly and sometimes unwittingly internalized an entire boy culture by objectifying women for decades. It was a revelation for me as well, when I realized, how as spectators, movie-watchers, and consumers, we propagate such a culture. We fuel this type of gender inequality and sexism by endorsing such songs, movie, and celebrities who objectify women and altogether make the industry an unsafe place for women.

2018 made me more skeptical of the entertainment industry and I've taken a personal vow to refrain from consuming such toxic content which banks on stereotypes and is downright offensive to each gender. This means being more aware of gender-neutral narratives; not watching movies that threaten to marginalize a particular sect/gender/caste; and definitely not encourage in unhealthy hero worship of celebrities whose real persona is so questionable. 2019 will find a better entertainment consumer in me, of that am sure. 

2. Words for better works

As a writer, I've probably spoken more about writing than actually writing a lot. That, fortunately, began to change this year. I've forever been the sort of person to mull over a lot before and after I write, which means I end up trashing everything I write, thinking it isn't perfect enough for reading. So, this kind of deranged obsession for perfection never really let me write a lot of content in the past few years. It became to physically and emotionally challenging, eventually taking a toll on my mental health.

However, in 2018, I wrote. I bloody well wrote a lot. I might not really have put up my writings on a blog or public platform, but I did journal a lot. I've carried my diaries with me like the plague and I end up jotting down my most mundane thoughts. And wow! it has been liberating and how. I only then realized that the only thing that will better my writing is more unabashed writing.

While I journal my way into 2019, I am hoping to publish more stuff on the blog, and even if I end up not doing so, it's also alright. I'm going to be more kind to myself about it.  

3. Work sabbaticals are great

I'd have earlier beaten myself to pulp for taking a work sabbatical and halting my career. This year, I got engaged and decided to take the better part of the year off to unwind and spend time with family. I was under no obligation to do so, yet I felt I needed and deserved this break. I'd realized that long working hours and crazy deadlines over the past few months had rendered me emotionally tired, which probably is why I wrote less and less for myself.

So, 2018 saw me step back a little from full-time working and I walked myself home into a place of contentment. I took that impromptu vacation with my entire family, caught up with old and new friends, and had the best time ever. I also took up a few freelance assignments because hey! writing FOMO. But it was less stressful and more structured than before. I was also unapologetic about being idle and this boosted my mental space. Nevertheless, I slept a little better on NYE, knowing I'll be all stoked to do great work in 2019.

 4. Fitness is now family

One downside of any job is probably the long sitting hours in from of a screen. This also includes the occasional writer's block and binge eating to make yourself feel better to think better. All this, along with no time to meal prep and self-proclaimed procrastination over the past two years just pushed me towards obesity. By the time the realization hit, I was already neck deep in an unhealthy lifestyle, and my self-esteem had taken the plunge. 

The beginning of 2018 saw me take on fitness a bit more seriously as I began with all sorts of weird fad diets and ketosis cycles. Horrible hormonal imbalances, shitty mood swings and some really bad choices later, I swore my life to strength training and clean eating. I have learnt the hard way that click-bait fads that tell you tips/hacks to lose weight in 10 days/1 month are all bullshit. I learnt not to demonize certain foods as bad or good or fattening and realized that only consistently clean meals and working out will give your body the quality of health you need. 

Now I don't see working out or clean eating as a short-term hack to lose weight. It has become a lifestyle change and taught me to keep at it. I still eat the occasional junk food in small portions and hey! I feel better than ever. 2019's health resolutions are just going to get better and heavier.

 

These were my biggest takeaways from 2018 and I began this post as soon as I thought of it. Of course, after jotting down the preamble to this blog, I had to biggest urge to shelve this topic, because a. It sounded stupid as I kept writing and b. Why the hell would anyone care what my past year looks like? But i reminded myself that this very attitude has stopped me from writing more in the past. So, as a single new year's resolution, I intend to rely less on validation and more on what my gut instinct tells me to go with. I might write shit, I might write something amazing or something meaningful. You never know. But, write I will. For me.

4 Reasons We All Must Admire the New Duchess of Sussex

Yes, the pictures are all over the Internet, everyone has seen them, and the likes. Honestly, I was so in love with the pictures of the couple. *sigh* so dreamy, right out of a fairy-tale book. Meghan looked like a million bucks and Prince Harry looked like the happiest man in the world to be finally marrying his woman at the altar. Like any social event around the world, this one also had its fair share of 'ooh' and 'aah' moments, plus more than a fair share of memes and trolls.

But, what bothers me the most was that everyone was gushing about Meghan Markle being so lucky to marry the prince, the son of Princess Diana herself. Inspirational messages of how she finally found her Prince Charming kept doing the rounds, and I couldn't help feeling sad for how typically misjudged and misinterpreted this entire affair has turned out to be.

If you think about it, I'd rather say Prince Harry was the luckier one. Read on to know how!

1. No career. Alert! No career! 

Given the Royal Decree that disallows the pursuance of any career for a member of the royal family, Meghan has to give up her acting and theatre career (which is sad, since I loved her as Rachel in Suits). Not only has she won hearts with her character  in the super-hit legal drama series, Meghan has had a rich professional life of her own. She has acted in several TV series and has two films to her credit. She also had a lifestyle website The TIGSs and has been at the helm of several humanitarian and charity campaigns around the world. Imagine giving that all up to marry into a family, where there would never be any way to get back into a career she spent two decades making up for!

 2. Leap of faith with Harry

Meghan Markle is of mixed descent, already divorced, 3 years elder to Harry, and was apparently indifferent to his royal status when they got set up on a blind date. After irreconcilable differences with her ex-husband, Meghan separated in what must have been an emotionally vexing affair post 6 years of companionship. Yet, she chose to take her time and not be swept away by Prince Harry, who's had his fair share of courting pretty girls. To choose to marry into a family that has always preferred white people, follows Victorian era standards of etiquette, and hasn't earlier been too kind to the remarriage of divorced individuals--all this, indeed, must have been a leap of faith for Meghan.

3. Not a gold digger

Barring aside her now-royal status, Meghan Markle still has her estimated worth at $5 million. She reportedly made $50,000 per episode of Suits, in which she starred for seven seasons. With several other roles in movies and TV series, and a lifestyle website, this wasn't her only source of income. A thrifty woman, Meghan has been sensible with her income and investments so far, which makes her a woman self-made. On the other hand, Prince Harry might have a much higher estimated worth, but as sixth in line to the throne, he is entitled to a handsome annual allowance of $4.5 million. Still an allowance. Well, if you count playing FIFA games a real money-making talent. In addition to this, everyone know the stakes involved in a royal wedding. Even though there is no such norm to a royal wedding, there was no prenuptial agreement. Just saying!

4. Giving up social media privileges

Let's face it. As attractive does it sound to marry a prince, it gets boring. I got my fodder from the Netflix series Crown, where I realised that the royal family has very little say in the day-to-day activities of their own schedule. Living a disciplined royal lifestyle, making social appearances, going off on cordial tours to charities and forsaken nation, having every minute of your life planned at least 6 months in advance--well, all of it sounds nice at first. But I wouldn't ever trade my pajama-junkie, bookworm, Instagram-addict life for the above. But she did. And, am sure she's gonna be a boss lady at that too. Oh please don't get me started on the lack of personal accounts on all social media.

Apart from all that, I find it just so beautiful that Meghan sought to give it all up to marry Prince Harry, all of her own will. By breaking the norms of how royal brides are supposed to be, she has certainly set an example of how, if you will, you could be the fairy tale Princess Charming to sweep a common prince off his feet.