Eight Ways to Indulge in Self-Love for Better Emotional Health

A recent conversation with my best friend got us talking about how therapy has liberated us from having largely negative, depressing thoughts, and self-love indulgence has done us a great deal of good. Very little has been taught to us about mental health and how to recognize patterns of self-hate and misery, that we all quite often fall prey to. 

It is extremely encouraging that the conversation about mental health and emotional well-being, which was once a taboo, is now finding more takers than before. The concept of self-love is so widely discussed among millennials today on social media, and yet it remains a very unexplained idea in its entirety. The idea of loving yourself has been stressed upon a lot, but a lot of us are still clueless about ways you can show yourself some unconditional love.

The Internet is filled with such articles and yet I consciously chose to write this blog post to share what has personally worked for me. All the gestures and acts of self-love I believe have improved my emotional well-being and put a speed-breaker on my bad mental health days. So here we go:

1. Get rid of the impostor syndrome

For those of you who don't know, the impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where you constantly doubt your achievements and believe that it is an outcome of pure luck and not your own strength/efforts. There is no arrogance in accepting your strongest attributes and the fact that you have achieved a lot of good things with your hardwork/efforts, irrespective of how small or big they are. They are all equally important. Of course, being humble about them is fine; but do not, even for a teeny tiny second, belittle yourself  or underplay your efforts for whatever you have achieved or endured. 

2. Do the things you love and enjoy 

There is an innate sense of peace and love when you indulge in activities that you really enjoy. Read a book, go out with friends, listen to music, dance to that old embarrassing song, write, sleep for hours, travel--honestly anything that gives you joy or peace.  This can also occasionally mean lying in bed all day, binge-watching that series you have on your list, or even eating your favorite comfort food. The greatest show of self-love is indulging in the very acts that evoke pleasure and fun. Enjoying even one little thing you love to do each day will make you love and validate yourself.

3. Indulge in your hobbies more

Although I've already said that you should do more things you love, I'd say indulge more in your hobbies. If you love photography, writing, dance, singing, traveling, socializing--do it more. Also, let's get rid of this misconception that you must truly excel in every hobby you have. There should be zero guilt/embarrassment if you paint horribly, sing off-rhythm, cook mediocre food, or click bad pictures. As long as you enjoy it, you do you! No judgement.

4. Learn to say NO

I've learnt this the hard way, but when I finally did, it has made all the difference to my mental health. Self-love is also when you learn to say no to toxic people, uncomfortable situations or requests. It is completely alright if you do not want to go out with friends or maybe you do not want to help someone or do anything for them, if it disrupts your mental peace or makes you uncomfortable.
Saying no is a significant way of showing love and respect to yourself. It sets boundaries and let's people know what you are/are not okay with. Say no--guilt-free and without second thoughts.

5. Take physical care of yourself 

It is sometimes easier said than done, but it is really important that we take care of ourselves physically. When you indulge in any self-care activity, it also sends positive signals to your brain that you are being cared for, which can sometimes really put a pause on negative, depressing thoughts. Self-care might mean different things for people with varying degrees of mental health. For instance, it is an act of self-care if a depressed/anxious person takes a shower and eats a meal when hungry or goes to a therapist. For a person with just the occasional negative thoughts but better mental health, self-care might mean wearing new clothes or cleaning their room or shopping for something they like.
Self-care is subjective and speaks a different language for each person. Going to the doctor when you are ill or sleeping when you are tired are also acts of self-love. Take care of your body and your mind will thank you. 

6. Be kind to yourself

It is the best mantra to begin your journey of self-love--Be kind to yourself first, the world can wait. Do no say mean, unkind things to yourself. It is only human for us to question our decisions, our actions, our appearances, or highlighting our flaws, but do not let yourself fall into such regular patterns of self-hate. Each time you find yourself engaging in self-hate, pause for a moment to think whether you would say the same negative things to your best friend or family. If you won't say it to your loved ones, there is no way you should be saying it to yourself.

7. Curate your social media/digital downtime

While you might emulate all the self-love tips within your own personal sphere, sometimes social media might give trigger your anxiety or insecurities when you see posts/stories from other people. Not everyone is able to do this, but consider this also an act of self-love when you customize what goes on your social media. Unfollow/unfriend all the people who evoke negative feelings in you or make you insecure in any way. You can even unfollow your closest friends, if anything they post triggers your mental health; they must understand.
Try and follow people or accounts that inspire you or make you feel positive. It is perfectly alright to decide what comes up on your feed and what shouldn't. Self-care also includes taking a social media detox once in a while to reset and focus on your own self in your own sweet time. Do this and your mind will do a factory reset. 

8. Find an outlet for your emotions

Let me reiterate this--It is alright to do anything that helps you vent out your negative feelings in the right way. Paint, cook, dance, sing, shop, travel--absolutely anything. Sometimes just crying it out or talking to a friend/loved one about it will do. It is perfectly fine to do so. Normalize crying as a active human emotion. It is better to give your negative feelings a constructive outlet instead of bottling it up inside and letting it fester in the long run. 

There are a lot of ways you can indulge in self-love, but these are the ones that have really worked for me and a few people I know. I also indulge in cooking, buying plants for myself, and clicking pretty pictures of everyday things to show care for myself. As long as you don't harm yourself or indulge in unhealthy patterns of negative behavior, I urge everyone to do anything that adds to their emotional well-being. Family, friends, therapy, good opportunities definitely go a long way in ensuring better mental health, but only You caring for yourself with pay off in the long run.