From Facebook to Facepalm phenomenons

                 When Mark Zuckerberg started thefacebook.com way back in 2004 to help Harvard alumni reconnect with each other, little did he know that he would start a social media revolution that would transform the way people perceive each other online. 10 years later, as Facebook now celebrates its 10th birthday, having a Facebook account now seems equivalent to having your own personal identity online. A staggering 1.2 billion users, Facebook is now huge enough to be a country. From being a simple online media platform that helped Harvard students poke around classmates and like each other's picture, the website is now a thriving platform with groups, events, fan clubs and much more customized networking.
             
                  Perhaps they're right when they say, "Throw a stone, and it is sure to hit a Facebook user."  We all might be veteran users of Facebook, but there are certainly some others out there who always seem to be at the receiving end because of their naivety. Here is a list of all those Facebook phenomenons that have irritated us, and entertained us and even haunted us in their own wicked funny ways. Oh yes! and we've learnt from our mistakes  too.

1. Game requests!

We all know that game requests in any form are so freaking irritating. While people say Candy crush requests are the worst, there are those game requests that could literally test your patience and leave no doubt about the level of joblessness people are upto. Like No! I don't want to know who is my secret crush, who is stalking me, or what kind of crazy I am or any random shit. Mentally, I have already murdered you a dozen times. 

2. Works at . . .

A few minutes of silence for the people who have works at - 'Student' on their profile. 

                            

And a few hours of silence for those girls who have works at -'I dOn't Wrk coz aM a pRiNcEsS' 

3. Pesky relatives

Lets face this. We all have, at some point or other, dodged from those pesky desi aunts and uncles who send you a friend request in all good sense. Even more difficult was hiding your crazy posts and ultra retarded pictures with friends, until Zuckerberg finally came up with the custom settings option to hide stuff from family and others. He saved some reputations, didn't he?

4. Pokes and Friend requests

I seriously do not understand why would I be dumb enough to add or poke back random people on Facebook. Like having a few mutual friends or a common school/college gives you a license to add me? I wouldn't even give you a second glance if I walked past you in real life.

5. Stupid picture tags

You are there in the pic, I'm not. You're all alone or maybe with a friends or two. They why the hell do you have those three people and 89 others tagged in the pic? Sometimes, its just not you. It might be a pic of your fat ass cat, your last night's dinner or your new phone. Oh! And please don't get me started on your grainy selfies that come with captions like "Mah CoUraGe...Mah AtTituDE.." or some idiotic Urdu Shayeri. 

 6. English Zombies

Not to demean or insult you but Facebook addicts have seriously killed modern English language. You study in my college/school and I've no idea why "U ppl olwayze typ lyk dis". Even your well meaning comments and status updates that say 'osum mrng, chilling out wid mah frnds' etc etc. do not look amusing at all. Are you saving all those vowels for your wedding? 

P.S Yes I'm a grammar Nazi.

7. Incessant Stalking

Come on! Lets face it. You'e done it, I've done it. Everyone else I know has done it. We all have stalked someone's profile or the other in our entire Facebook tenure. How many times have we not stalked our classmates, crushes and even ended up scrolling through timelines of your friend's friend's cousin's friends. 

 

8. Hello-Hi-bye-bye comments

Look. Most of you really steal the thunder from a really nice picture or a status update with your lame conversations underneath them. For example, Mr.X updates a status about his first job or Miss Y is officially engaged and that is seriously not a great place to start a conversation with your mutual friends in the comments. There's a place called 'Chat box' or 'inbox' where you can relocate your "Hieee there, long time!" ,"omg so long! When will you be in town, lets meet." conversations. 

9. Like Hoarders

Yes, this breed is not extinct. These people can annoy the soul out of your body. To all those who are like-hungry on Facebook, you deserve a silent slow motion clap. From messaging people in chat to "Pls lyk my pic" and tagging 49 others in the same, these desperadoes are everywhere. Oh yes, there is another classier version of Facebook page promoters who will send you discreet invites to like their pages too. So here you go.

10. Outrageous dps

Ladies with all those made up dps, why does every pic of yours have to be an artwork of Pablo Picasso with your face as a canvas? With 190 likes on your face all caked in that makeup on Facebook, how are people supposed to recognize the real 'You' in real life if they happen to see you minus your war paint. 

And all those wannabe cool guys and girls who think pictures where you're wearing shades indoors, well. . . Keep posing. We can deal with you later.

11. Facebook addicts

The social 'keedas' as they call us. Yes, I belong to this category of Facebook addicts. In my defense, who else could come up with a blog like this? On the downside, however there is a limit to the amount of information you are supposed to share on a social media platform. Not everything and anything needs Everyone's attention on Facebook. But I totally get the itch to log in and brag. I mean it.

12. Never say goodbye

We totally get it if you want to quit this Facebook madness and delete or deactivate your profile. But is a social declaration of your intention necessary? "Bye guys, am deactivating my profile by the 20th of this month." 

And, there you still are! 6 months later you still haven't deactivated. They say there is a special place in hell reserved just for your kind. Adios.